the demon dies and the angel cries, for laughing would be cruel

remember. remember the warmth. smile and remember the softness, the closness. Breath deep and remember the warmth of kiss, the softness of cheek, the closness of hands.

smile.

you see them there dancing. they beckon you to join, but you cant. you cant tear your eyes away, away from them. you cant get up and dance that way. you sit. you watch. you can see them there swaying and smiling. you can see me.

smile.

and saints and pilgrims and nymphs and demonds and angels and clowns, they watch. and i can see. and they allwatch me. and the saints move on pilgrimages and the demonds dance like sprites and they angles wear a nose, not unlike a clown. and you see these things and you only see me. and you dont understand. a sin? a smile? a devil? a smile?

smile.

close your eyes, a see me now. you see me and i dance and you see me. you can see me smile wickedly and you see me pray and beg for more. close your eyes and smile and see me walk away.

smile

and yo can feel the warth and you can taste the soft and you can love the closness and you watch the demons dance with angels and laugh like a clown and you can see the saints walking with the prilgrim and you cannot tell which is which. and you close your eyes and you breath deep and the memories fire, rhythms fall slow.

smile

lover

Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mournersParading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with waterAnd maybe I’m too young to keep good love from going wrongBut tonight you’re on my mind so you never knowWhen I’m broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed itWhere are you tonight, child you know how much I need itToo young to hold on and too old to just break free and runSometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his funAnd much too blind to see the damage he’s doneSometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-oneSo I’ll wait for you... and I’ll burnWill I ever see your sweet returnOh will I ever learnOh lover, you should’ve come over’cause it’s not too lateLonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain inBurning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with himMy body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never comeIt’s never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulderIt’s never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against herIt’s never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughterIt’s never over, she’s the tear that hangs inside my soul foreverWell maybe I’m just too youngTo keep good love from going wrongOh... lover, you should’ve come over’cause it’s not too lateWell I feel too young to hold onAnd I’m much too old to break free and runToo deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage I’ve doneSweet lover, you should’ve come overOh, love well I’m waiting for youLover, you should’ve come over’cause it’s not too late....

this one too...maybe moreso then the last. i guess you could say i just like the album...grace.

kiss me, please kiss me, kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation

This is our last goodbyeI hate to feel the love between us dieBut it’s overJust hear this and then I’ll goYou gave me more to live forMore than you’ll ever knowThis is our last embraceMust I dream and always see your faceWhy can’t we overcome this wallWell, maybe it’s just because I didn’t know you at allKiss me, please kiss meBut kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolationYou know it makes me so angry ’cause I know that in timeI’ll only make you cry, this is our last goodbyeDid you say ’no, this can’t happen to me,’And did you rush to the phone to callWas there a voice unkind in the back of your mindSaying maybe you didn’t know him at allYou didn’t know him at all, oh, you didn’t knowWell, the bells out in the church tower chimeBurning clues into this heart of mineThinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memoriesOffer signs that it’s over... it’s over

i love that song....jeff buckley.

well. yeah. dont get me wrong...its not how im feeling....i just really like the song.

wandering star

wandering star, for whom it is reserved: the blackness, the darkness forever.

i think that i should let go...i will breath through this mess, like a fool.
in DND you can be a pseudodragon....i have no idea what that is, but you can be one. i remebered my alter ego yesterday...i had to send him back to ireland coz he got in the way a lot.
his name was toby finnigan. he was a bath-stirrer...i think i miss him. i had to put on my irish accent at theatre sports last night, for an audition piece...it was fun, but i found it hard to do it on the spot...ive got to grow out of the shyness... theatre sports is over...this is sad....the stars split to wander the darkness...
nobody loves me, its true....not like you doi dont know what to say. i have to learn how to kiddnap people....i have a list of people to kiddnap, and take to cofs with me. "ill think about it" is the male equivalent of "no" isnt it? i had a feeling it might be. how heartbraking.

the blackness the darkness forever

give me a reason to love you.....move over and give it some room....through this new frame of mind, a thousand flowers could bloom.....

i like portishhead.

i need to cry more. i dont smile enough.

wandering star....im a wandering star, the blackness the darkness forever.

feeler

im very lonely at the moment. and i dont know why.
im sad. i fisnnish school in less then 48 hours. thats not long at all. not tomorrow, but the next day. after the formal, there are so many people im not going to see, ever again. and whats worse is that we dont have a huge class....19 people, we are all really close.

life goes on.

im feeling a little wierd actually...not even chemical brothers is making me feel better.

on the plus side i have tickets to the ben lee concert...SPANK ME THATS GOING TO BE GOOD...im quite excited about it actually

but yeah. i dont know. i think im just sad. its a big thing, i think to be suddnely spat out into the world and expected to fucntion... i dont know much really
i dont even know why im bothering with this.

its funny how a distance makes missing someone worse....

"where are you now? coz im kissing you"

im bored

someone help me

what should i do with me?

blue in the face...kicking and screaming

apparently, it is nigh on impossible to comment on my blog.
i am told, by quite a reliable source, that, although its a good read, there really isnt anything to say. how depressing. i could always find somthing interesting to talk about, somthing comment worthy, but that would require me to tell everyone all of my secrets....and we cant be having that now can we?!?!?!?

so now i have to try and think about how to write things that are thought provoking. things that make you think about stuff, then coment about said stuff. ok. well, i dont really feel like going on some bitching session about how terribly revolting our world is, how far society has crumbled in the past 18 years, or how fat we are getting....its kinda ... depressing, and i figure, that unless you can write about it in a truly "f@#$ you" manner (like some people i know...ie mitchell) then there really isnt any point.

so maybe i could write about...yeah..see...i dont know.

you people are just going to have to comment about what i write...surely at least ONE of you have a thought about what i say.
im talking to you Matt!!
id like an actual comment......if i get ONE more comment from those advertising bastards i think im just gonna have to make society crumble a little faster, by blowing up a small proportion of it...(before America gets a chance to). and id really like to know who this anon. person is. tell me!! it getting boring!!

so yeah. how am i?
im quite well. went to rocky creek dam yesterday, with pokky.....it was really nice. we made ceasar salad to take...and we fought over strawerries.....mmmm strawberries
anyway. im the worst in te word, and completely forgot about the HSC performances...i tried to call maree, honest.....anyway. i suck

IM HAVING AN ALICE IN WONDERLAND "MAD HATTER TEA PARTY" FOR MY 18th...well, for one part of it anyway....
mum is making all the food (yes!!! i love mums cooking....) and yeah...i dunno itll be fun.
i have no idea what im doing with dad...he has somethig organised.

so yea i dont know

im feeling a little heartbroken about moving....but i guess i bitch abot that enough on this thing....
Rachel is going to bourke to governess....BOURKE!!?!?!?!? ill never see her again...and i miss her enough now....
i miss annika too......i hope you are well kiddo....

yeah i dont know. little miss indecisive strikes again!!!

its a little sad that i brought Tchaikovsky to mums......i was REALLY wanting to listen to it....and whats in side....no, not nothing....MOZART...so its not THAT bad....but i really wanted Tchaikovsky.

i saw pulp fiction, at last...its great...like the soundtrack i do i do

my greatgrandmother on my father's side turned 87 on friday....
oh yeah...happy birthday mitchell
well
yeah
au voir
hmmm cant remember if that is spelt right or not
xoxo

im sitting in class, next to some looser, who has some liking for kenny rodgers.....he likes the music, or so it would seem.

its not good

help

silver moon's parkling

happy. very, very happy. my life is going so well, there are many things to be very happy about. things are wonderful. (no im not taking ecstacy) things are pleasant and very wonderful.
im sad to see them change.

kiss me, beneath the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

breaking the girl

Do you think that it could be considered strange to realise that you never asked yourself "who am i?".

I never asked myself that. I think I just presumed I knew.

I still presume I know. I know who I am.

The question is...What do I do with me?

slow burn, watching the world turn, from my arms

god, for some reason Chopin is my life soundtrack at the moment.

for some reason i have developed a new love for Mozart. especially track 6. Concerto for Violin no 3 in G major, K 216: 2nd movement, Adagio there is a really nice violin solo in there....i wish i could play something as well as that. no, basically i wish i could play violin as well as that. oh well.
anyway.

for some reason today is the first day of spring. the smells. the colours! OH LOOK AT THE COLOURS CHILDREN!!!

for some reason here is a list of my favorite quotes from kids (cartoon) movies. bet you cant list them all:

"but your eyes ARE starlight"

"welease the secwet weapon!"

"im cold, im lost, and im hungry. and the beetle says that im ugly"

"they popped out of the snow, like daisies!!!"

"they're not stole, they're in the cupboard"

"then im a monkey's uncle"

basically im bored, and i have free time in IPT. the whole triple thus far, i have bben like "c'mon, giv us freetime"...and now i have no idea what to do with it!! carful what you wish for eh.

have fun. slow burn
xoxo